Someone very special to me shared this, referencing the timeless, quiet wisdom of my own grandmother in the process. I tried to find the source of the narrative, but it has cropped up on so many blogs and web sites that its origin seems impossible to find. Thus I'll post it as I received it and "pay it forward," hoping someone else will be touched by the subtle, yet profound message it conveys.
Life is full of highs and lows. And it’s during those lows that we are truly tested and we learn so much about ourselves. We may become angry, we may grieve, and we may even become depressed… but we can only hope to come out of these situations as a better, stronger person. And to make it through such dark times, sometimes we need the help and support of others. In particular, we may seek the advice of those who may have more experience and wisdom than us.
In the short story below, a woman had just been cheated
on by her husband. She was obviously devastated and sought help from her
grandmother. Read Grandma’s response below and let us know what you think. I
think you’ll find that it rings true for so many of us…
This is a good lesson for all of us, no matter what stage
of life you’re in. You’ll see what I mean.
A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about
her life and how things were so hard for her–her husband had cheated on her and
she was devastated. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to
give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as soon as one
problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three
pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In
the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last
she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a
word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She
fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and
placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, ‘Tell me what you see.’
‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied. Her grandmother
brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that
they were soft. The grandmother then asked the granddaughter to take an egg and
break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, the grandmother asked the granddaughter to sip
the coffee. The granddaughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The
granddaughter then asked, ‘What does it mean, grandmother?’
Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had
faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot
went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the
boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin
outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the
boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique,
however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
“Which are you?” she asked her granddaughter. “When
adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or
a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems
strong, but with pain and adversity? Do I wilt and become soft and lose my
strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but
changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup,
a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?
Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a
stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes
the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets
hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when
things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate
yourself to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or
a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough
trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to
make you happy.
The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go
forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around
you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling
and everyone around you is crying.
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